Who writes on their computer for fun?
Well to answer that question, let me take you back a few chapters. It all started in the fall of 2005. Then I was a fresh-faced sophomore attending High School. There were days where I tried to figure out simultaneously what I want to do now in my social life, and what I need to do later in order to accomplish my long term goals. The questions that I assume to answer are rhetorical, yet not. Eh, you figure it out, I’m burned.
Tired of running in the shadow of your memory.
The end of life? Not so much.
The end of today, in many ways.
Monday, December 15, 2008 · 11.23 PM
Now if I were to go back to high school, which I am about to do tomorrow - there would be no issues with guys. I would not have that tinge of hesitance, shyness, or resistance when it came to getting to know them. I don’t want to say it’s like they are beneath me, but… they are beneath me. I can go for college guys now. High school guys are immature anyways. Why couldn’t I see that before? I can be friends with them. The sexual tension; romance peer pressure does not exist anymore. It never really existed, but in that of my own head. Maybe I can find the excuse or blame it on how small my school is/was. College has tens of thousands of people and guys. The invisible walls that had stopped me before disappeared as they handed me my diploma. Why did I let this high school persona stop me? I may never know why. What I do realize now is that I am bigger then what others create for me. I will tell myself how I define these situations. Who is in control is ultimately up to me.
Now only if I can see my college guys as that. I believe I can and will. Be friends first, that has always been my motto, though I failed to follow it at times.
Today is what you make it.
As of now, I am debating whether I should start writing my thoughts on the computer verses my ways of by hand in the Tweety chronicles. There’s that essence of writing by hand that just cannot be reproduced on the computer, as well as privacy. What is on an electronic is essentially for all of the world to see. What you write in a book that is hopefully only posses in your eyes is just that…. Only for your eyes and no one else. It’s easier and faster to write on here. My “online” notebook. The additional drawback to this type of writing is the stupid spell checker that insists your slang is incorrect. Well here’s a thing for you Microsoft Word!!!- LMAO, deuce to yo mother. But whatevs. I guess I’ll see how I feel in the coming days.
What do I hope to accomplish in the last few weeks of this year? Well, to be honest, not more than what I accomplished for the first 90 percent of the year. It is what is it is. What shall be done, shall commence and there forth final. Yeah, I don’t know where this Shakespeare talk came from all of a sudden. Maybe it’s from all the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants I have consumed in the past four days. The audio book, the movie, revering the book, website, watching the movie again and again and again. Shall I continue? I think you get the point.
Just like my short story for English 1101 class, the television echoes in the background as I sit amazingly consuming the oh so awesome Chelsea Lately.
With past diary entries, I talk about my day. Yes, I have wanted to talk about this more, but today was not one of those days. Not worthy of being talked about. This, like past events is a moment of reflection. Where I have to, I must, stop myself and reflect on who I am, what I’m doing, and where I’m heading.
That fresh faced girl. Yeah that one. No not you, the girl sitting next to you.
©2008
